b.z. humdrumb.z. humdrum


A conversation with b.z. humdrum :

Self Portrait

Q: Tell me about your childhood.
A: Benny was born to a pack of wolves on the underside of a freeway underpass. Fighting his way up the pylons, he managed to avoid the swooping turtles and ferocious cookies that, all too often, pluck youth before their blossoming. He currently lives in a local brothel as an alternate.

Q: Do you enjoy using the third person?
A:
He does.

Q: If you were to describe your life presently, what would you say?
A:
I am a young man aspiring toward retirement. In the mean time, I divide my time between sleep and wakefulness–although I am always alert. I am not paranoid, nor am I unaware of your motives. My biography would not be complete without a list of my favorite spices: sage, thyme, and paprika.

Q: Describe yourself in as few words as possible.
A:
If I were to choose one word to describe myself, it would be "boy." If I were to choose just two words, I would have to say "pretty boy." If, forced by the power that be, I chose three words, I would pick "easy pretty boy." But, given four words, they would be "pretty easy going boy."

Q: If you were to describe yourself as a personal ad, how would you do so?
A:
SWVM employed at hip company in the city. Enjoys casual conversation, quipping, AA batteries, and blindfolds. Not interested in l/t commitment, but happy to oblige your whims. Non-confrontational, sweet, but not sour. Irresistible to friends; deadly to enemies. Mongoose to your cobra?

Q: Do you have a work ethic?
A:
I like working hard for my employer and receiving compensation for that work in the form of monetary or beneficial goods. I firmly believe that my life had not started until I began working at [insert company name], and I hope to forget the previous years as the interim dream which it so obviously was. I accept, wholeheartedly, the party line.

Q: What do you like to do? What are your hobbies?
A:
I love to travel, talk about travelling, see pictures of people’s travels, and speak with travelers. My goals include travel, and benefiting humanity. I am taking them one at a time.

link to take me away from this absurdity